sacred tremor

ANATOMY/movement

2012-02-13T05:20:00.000-08:00

YOGANESH/playlist

2012-02-13T05:08:00.000-08:00

HOME/is

2012-02-04T04:59:00.000-08:00

This is a wicked crazy live version of one of my new favorite songs!!
The original video is pretty cool, too. Check it out: Home

DO/it

2012-02-03T04:45:00.000-08:00

roll the dice
Charles Bukowski

if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
otherwise, don’t even start.

if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.

go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to
do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.

if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
there is no other feeling like
that.
you will be alone with the gods
and the nights will flame with
fire.

do it, do it, do it.
do it.

all the way
all the way.

you will ride life straight to
perfect laughter, its
the only good fight
there is.

GET/outside

2012-02-02T04:29:00.000-08:00

I woke from a nap this afternoon feeling sluggish, unmotivated and downright stuck. Doug suggested a walk outside. In my head I thought: I don't want to go for a walk. I'm tired. Leave me alone. I just want to stay in bed and be lazy and sulk about nothing. I said simply and reluctantly: sure. I put on my coat, shoes and hat, and we hit the trail for a walk around the pond.

Literally 2 minutes on the trail and I felt amazing. It's been relatively mild here this winter. There's no snow on the ground. In fact, there's mostly just a whole lot of mud. Still, the radiance of nature and the freshness in the air enlivened me. There were mushrooms and moss, logs and trees, and the pond-- full of ripples and reflections. There are a thousand things I could write about just from a walk around the pond. I mean, there was the sky and the orange clouds that hung suspended over the mountain as if in disbelief that the sky could be so clear, and endless.

Get outside everyday. Move your body. Look around you and see things from a new perspective. If you live in the city find a park. If you live in a park take a trip to the city. Make every attempt you can to get unstuck from the daily patterns that keep you from being fully, unabashedly alive.

THE/sun

2012-01-26T13:52:00.000-08:00

The Sun

Mary Oliver

Have you ever seen

anything

in your life

more wonderful

than the way the sun,

every evening,

relaxed and easy,

floats toward the horizon

and into the clouds or the hills,

or the rumpled sea,

and is gone--

and how it slides again

out of the blackness,

every morning,

on the other side of the world,

like a red flower

streaming upward on its heavenly oils,

say, on a morning in early summer,

at its perfect imperial distance--

and have you ever felt for anything

such wild love--

do you think there is anywhere, in any language,

a word billowing enough

for the pleasure

that fills you,

as the sun

reaches out,

as it warms you

as you stand there,

empty-handed--

or have you too

turned from this world--

or have you too

gone crazy

for power,

for things?

WALK/north

2012-01-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

Walk North

Mark Nepo

No matter how I turn
the magnificent light follows.
Background to my sadness.

No matter how I lift my heart
my shadow creeps in wait behind.
Background to my joy.

No matter how fast I run
a stillness without thought is where I end.

No matter how long I sit
there is a river of motion I must rejoin.

And when I can’t hold my head up
it always falls in the lap of one
who has just opened.

When I finally free myself of burden
there is always someone’s heavy head
landing in my arms.

The reasons of the heart
are leaves in wind.
Stand up tall and everything
will nest in you.

We all lose and we all gain.
Dark crowds the light.
Light fills the pain.

It is a conversation with no end

a dance with no steps

a song with no words

a reason too big for any mind.

No matter how I turn
the magnificence follows.

LOTUS/ytt

2012-01-25T12:37:00.000-08:00

Opening night

Sunday Morning Sadhana

PLAYSHOP/playlists

2012-01-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

Playshop Music

Playlist #1 | Misc.

Playlist #2 | Trance Dance

Playlist #3 | Sunday Morning Practice

TAD/asana

2012-01-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

Tadasana | Mountain Pose

Anthony Quaglieri

I actually got my yoga practice in today. It was satisfactory and challenging enough. I move from tadasana to standing poses to forward folds, to backbends to shoulder stand, to head stand preparation, to twists, to savasana. I don't over do it. I just do my best in each pose. I'm building a separate tadasana practice. I set my phone alarm and I’m up to 4 minutes in tadasana. I stand in an engaged tadasana for the whole time and by the 3rd minute I am in another land, breathing and holding the pose.

I still think it's the hardest pose - being a conduit between the center of the earth and the center of heaven, opening myself as an aligned channel of energy between two points. Engaging each foot completely on the ground in a willing marriage of non-gripping contact. Exerting equal effort in planting down while rising up.

Isn't this what we want from life? To be completely engaged with that which nurtures and supports us while fully rising up at the same time, reaching for the sky with our crown chakra? Why shouldn't this be the most rewarding effort of all? To be simultaneously engaged with the fully known ground and the unknown vastness of the sky and all it has to offer, and letting the mind just go an the breath be as an engine.

I think taking tadasana is the best discipline of all. I effort toward a best practice in a particular moment in time with an earnest intention to concentrate with a quiet mind and see where the pose takes me. To keep as much engagement and alignment as I can. When one thing goes, I correct it and then another thing goes and I correct it, and then, maybe for a second, I have most things engaged and aligned, and I know it in an unattached-to-ego way, I just feel intense pleasure. To let my body float in an effort toward greater alignment in the pose, knowing that there is no pose, just the reaching toward it.

This is the intimacy of yoga, the conscious acceptance that there is nothing to get.

To let go of waiting for the phone alarm to go off. Instead, being in the challenge to stay engaged: “How much more time do I have to see if I can keep my knees lifted, my shoulder blades tucked in, my chest going up, my feet engaged - how much more time do I have to be in this action to lift my upper body to the sky while rooting my lower into the ground. To reach toward that second when effort and effortlessness are one. A slice of time when I just am, without wanting to be somewhere else, without waiting for the 4 minute alarm to go off, without having to remind myself to breathe, without caring if I'm doing a good job.

What a life lesson is one pose.

SHAMAN//psalm

2012-01-18T23:20:00.000-08:00

an excerpt from Shaman Psalm

by James Broughton

Arouse a new era

Disarm the Cutthroats

Sever the loggerheads

Offset the history

of torment and curse

Man is the species

endangered by man

Quick while there's time

Abandon your rivalries

or mourn

Deflate pugnacity

Magnify friendliness

Off with your mask

Off with your face

Dump the false guides

who travel the warpaths

Uncover your loving

Discover surrender

Rise in your essence to

the tender occasion

Unwrap your radiance

and brighten your crew

Value one another

or fall

Come forth unabashed

Come out unbuttoned

Bury belligerence

Resurrect frolic

Only through the body can

you clasp the divine

Only through the body can

you dance with god

In every man's hand

the gift of compassion

In every man's hand

the beloved connection

Trust one another

or drown

Banish animosity

Summon endearment

you are kindred to

each one you greet

each one you deal with

Hold nothing back

Hold nothing in

Romp and commingle

BEGIN/end

2012-01-18T19:33:00.000-08:00

Where Does the Temple Begin,
Where Does It End?
Mary Oliver

There are things you can’t reach. But

you can reach out to them, and all day long.

The wind, the bird flying away. The idea of God.

And it can keep you as busy as anything else, and happier.

The snake slides away; the fish jumps, like a little lily,
out of the water and back in; the goldfinches sing
from the unreachable top of the tree.

I look; morning to night I am never done with looking.

Looking I mean not just standing around, but standing around
as though with your arms open.

And thinking: maybe something will come, some
shining coil of wind,
or a few leaves from any old tree –
they are all in this too.

And now I will tell you the truth.
Everything in the world
comes.

At least, closer.

And, cordially.

Like the nibbling, tinsel-eyed fish; the unlooping snake.
Like goldfinches, little dolls of gold
fluttering around the corner of the sky

of God, the blue air.

PRAY/er

2012-01-18T19:26:00.000-08:00

Praying

Mary Oliver

It doesn't have to be

the blue iris, it could be

weeds in a vacant lot, or a few

small stones; just

pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try

to make them elaborate, this isn't

a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which

another voice may speak.

SUMMER/day

2012-01-18T19:18:00.000-08:00

The Summer Day

Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean--
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down--
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

IT/is

2012-01-18T12:58:00.000-08:00

This Is It

James Broughton

This is It

and I am It

and You are It

and so is That

and He is It

and She is It

and It is It

and That is That.

O It is This

and It is Thus

and It is Them

and It is Us

and It is Now

and here It is

and here We are

and This is It.

NO/end

2012-01-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

No end to the journey

--Rumi

No end, no end to the journey
no end, no end never
how can the heart in love ever stop opening
if you love me, you won’t just die once
in every moment you will die into me
to be reborn
Into this new love die

your way begins on the other side
become the sky
take an axe to the prison wall,
escape
walk out like someone
suddenly born into color
do it now

YEAR/2012

2012-01-04T07:19:00.001-08:00

This video was recently sent to me by my friend Brad Oliphant who did the photography for this short film. All I can say is WOW! It will open your heart and help guide you into a richer, deeper experience in the year ahead. Please watch this film and pass it along.

Check out Brad's inspiring website: www.bradoliphantphotography.com

WHITMAN/grass

2012-01-02T10:48:00.000-08:00

A child said What is the grass? fetching
it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not
know what it is any more than he.

--Walt Whitman

SUN/fire

2012-01-02T08:09:00.000-08:00

COLLAGE/book

2012-01-01T11:04:00.000-08:00

Every year around the turn of the New Year I spend a full day in creative contemplation reflecting upon the past year and creating an intention for the year ahead. This year, I spent two full days in that quiet space. No electronics-- no phone, no computer, no facebook, no email, no texting. Nothing. I cleaned off my desk and spread out all of my art supplies. I lit candles, burned incense, practiced yoga, meditated, journaled and created lots and lots of art. The theme for 2012 came pretty quickly. "Follow Your Bliss," which is part of a longer quote by Joseph Campbell: "Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls." Using that as my theme I decided to create a small collage book as a visual reference for all the things that bring me bliss. I've been adding something to it everyday. More pictures of collage book below.

Here's to wishing you a CREATIVE year of FOLLOWING YOUR BLISS in 2012!

May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be free.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

NEW YEAR'S EVE/2012

2012-01-01T10:23:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve | 2012

Last evening 90 beautiful men gathered at Easton Mountain for a New Year's Celebration dinner and ritual as part of a five day bring-in-the-new-year retreat. The ritual leading up to midnight lasted about an hour and included chanting, song, readings, and periods of silent for meditation and reflection. At midnight we walked around hugging each other and wishing each other blessings for the new year. That was followed by fireworks and a night of sweaty disco dancing!

LOVE/biology

2011-12-28T12:22:00.000-08:00

Take the time to watch this. It is revelatory and instructive.

CIRCLE/shirt

2011-12-28T12:18:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I spilled some of my Ayuvedic oil on my favorite brown tank top. I liked the color and the way it fit me so I couldn't throw it out. So. I put it in the heap of clothes and fabric for sewing and repair. The other day I went through that pile thinking I was either going to deal with the stuff or throw it out. I took this brown tank top and with a brush and some bleach I drew a circle on the front of it where the oil stain was. I let is sit for a couple of hours and then tossed it in the wash. The above is the result. I actually like it even more now.

SCORPION/prep

2011-12-28T12:10:00.000-08:00

A couple years ago I set out to master Scorpion Pose. I worked on it for a while, but then I moved and life happened. I ended up taking several months off from teaching and practicing. It was a good break. Recently, my urge to teach and practice yoga have come back full force. I've been practicing everyday and totally enjoying it. Today, I got out the chair and decided I'm ready to re-engage my commitment to Scorpion. The above is a picture of one of the preparatory poses. I'm heading back into teaching full-time. It's good to take a break from the things I love. When I return I'm oftentimes refreshed and re-inspired.

WATER/color

2011-12-27T11:59:00.000-08:00

For Christmas Doug bought me a beautiful bound book of handmade watercolor paper. At first I was intimidated. When I was younger I did a lot of watercolor. I've thought about doing it again. Year after year went by. Over time I got rid of the paints, the brushes and the paper. Doug's gift inspired me to start again. I bought some watercolor and brushes. I opened the page, and, after a mini-anxiety attack, I grabbed a lemon from the fruit bowl and started painting. I was immediately happy to be putting paint on the page without any judgement or need to get it right. It's my goal this year to fill up this book with experiments in watercolor. I leave all judgements and unnecessary criticisms behind.

NY/moment

2011-12-21T09:05:00.000-08:00

After Doug and I left the show, Sleep No More, we stepped out of the doors to see this man with a big red hear made out of balloons. He announced to the crowd, "I screwed up." He was waiting to make amends with someone. Watch to see what happens...

OPEN/heart

2011-12-20T18:49:00.000-08:00

If you look closely, the picture reads: "Keep your heart open NO matter what." It reminded me of a Krishna Das kirtan I attended a few years back in Vermont. At the end of an ecstatic chant, in the resounding silence, he simply said: "May we open and never close." Tears streamed down my face as I felt the openness in that moment while simultaneously recognizing the great feat and immense courage it takes to keep the heart open. I bowed in humility knowing that the task of such a request is impossible, and yet the intention holds the light when the dark cold doors of the heart unexpectedly close.

I was walking down the street with my boyfriend Doug a couple of weeks ago when he pointed out to me a tag of an unknown Brooklyn graffiti artist on a black garage door (above). I was in a tizzy over something he had said or didn't say earlier that day. I don’t remember. What I remember is that my heart was closed, my body was tense, and I was breathing shallowly. When I read the words my first response was actually an increase of anger. I was clinging to the comfort of my bad mood. I was rolling around in it. You know how it is, something triggers you and you can't let it go and nothing anybody says or does can make you let it go. Somehow, being mad is sometimes easier than opening to the discomfort of what is right before you. I attempted to smile, but it was meager.

Less than an hour later we were having breakfast at the Willburg Cafe laughing and talking and drinking coffee and eating really good food. Whatever it was that had made me angry I left on the sidewalk somewhere along the way. It all changes. Everything. "The only constant is change." It's been said by lots of people, written in books on spirituality, and elaborated on in many blogs. It's even a song title by a band called As I Lay Dying, which I don't recommend unless you want to thrash your head to some death metal, which I am sometimes known to do.

The point is to try not to cling to your moods and emotions. They are temporary states. They rotate on the axis of our experience, and we have the ability to influence our experience just by simply remembering that we are not defined by your emotions. They change. The next time you are gripped with emotion, any emotion, remember that you will not always feel this way. Then take a breath, and allow yourself to really lean into your experience. It's the same with our joy, as well. We have an ecstatic moment and we think it's always going to be like this. Then it isn't and we crash. We are in a constant state of expanding and contracting. It's the basic law of the universe. It's our breath; it's the seasons, the waves of the ocean, the wind, the clouds.

Yoga and meditation are practices which can influence our mood fluctuations. The second of Pantanjali's Yoga Sutras reads: "yoga chitta vritti nirodha," which translates as “yoga is the stilling of the thought-waves of the mind,” or (my translation): practice yoga and get a grip on your crazy mind! These practices work because in yoga and meditation you are asked to focus the mind in some way, to be in the present moment, to experience thoughts and emotions and feelings as fleeting. The stilling of the mind doesn't happen in your first class or second or even after 10 years of practice, but over time the fluctuations become less and less. All of a sudden we are able to recover from emotional distress faster and live more fully in the present moment without denying that "shit happens." Yoga and meditation are tools to help us enjoy life and to cope with the stresses of living in an over-stimulated world full of chaos.

Alan Watts says, "As muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil.”

UN/breakable

2011-12-20T18:30:00.000-08:00

Where Is God?
-Mark Nepo

It’s as if what is unbreakable— 

the very pulse of life—waits for

 everything else to be torn away,

 and then in the bareness that

 only silence and suffering and

 great love can expose, it dares

 to speak through us and to us.

It seems to say, if you want to last,

 hold on to nothing. If you want

 to know love, let in everything. 

If you want to feel the presence 

of everything, stop counting the

 things that break along the way.

BLIND/drawing 6

2011-12-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

BLACK/moustache

2011-12-17T17:40:00.001-08:00

BLIND/drawing 5

2011-12-17T17:36:00.000-08:00

KOMBUCHA/betty

2011-12-17T14:47:00.000-08:00

I started my Kombucha just a little over 2 weeks ago. I always name my kombucha mothers. This one is Betty. Today I poured it from the glass. There was a slight fizz (a good thing). Then all of a sudden I was looking at the bottom of the glass. YUM! Kombucha is a tasty, fermented beverage that has endless health benefits especially for digestion. It's easy to make and a lot less expensive then buying it by the bottle. Here's a link to a site that gives great, easy instructions: Make Your Own Kombucha!

ENJOY!

YOGA/playshop

2011-12-12T19:24:00.000-08:00

The Yoga Playshop; Discover what moves you

Easton Mountain | Greenwich, NY

January 13 - 15, 2012

Explore your creative side through yoga, movement, art, and play. In this yoga playshop you will:

-- Explore yoga, movement and art in a community of gay men

-- Discover the ins and outs of basic yoga postures

-- Play with movement sequences to stretch your body and open your heart

-- Create visual art that grows out of your experience of your body

-- Experience an ecstatic trance dance that will leave you vibrating with joy

-- Explore breathing techniques to calm the mind, energize your body and ignite your spirit

-- Be inspired by a wide range of music and poetry

This workshop is for everyone. You need no prior yoga experience.

FREAK/out

2011-12-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

PHANTO/gram

2011-12-12T18:00:00.000-08:00

BLIND/drawing 4

2011-12-03T21:13:00.001-08:00

Self Portrait with winter wool hat

BLIND/drawing 3

2011-11-30T11:55:00.001-08:00

BLIND/drawing 2

2011-11-30T11:45:00.001-08:00

Blind Contour Drawing

Doug sitting in bed on a cool November morning with the window slightly open and the kids in the school yard playing loudly. Doug without a shirt sitting in front of me so open and available and sexy and warm. He had just brought me green tea that he made from the tea we got at Flower Power last week. He made it too strong and we had to dilute it by adding hot water.

BLACK/friday

2011-11-24T10:10:00.000-08:00

Black Friday is coming up in just a few days. I've been seeing hyped up, big blow-out, sale-of-the-year marketing campaigns everywhere. Even the site I use to upload my photos has a blaring video announcing Macy's Black Friday sale. At the same time I am also being sent links and seeing posts on Facebook and Twitter asking me to not spend a cent on Black Friday. So I ask myself, what do I do. I appreciate the sentiment of the Spend-No-Money-On-Black-Friday protest, but I think there's a more practical and effective way to create change around how we spend money. The slogan I created for myself is this: You money is your vote. What are you voting for? It means being conscious about what you are supporting with your dollar. Before going out this holiday season to load up on gifts and holiday treats take a deep breath and consider what you are voting for. Instead of shopping at Walmart or Target or some other big box store try making your holiday purchases at smaller, independently owned shops. You might think about buying some of your holiday goodies from your local natural foods store. Whenever possible make the effort to choose consciously how you are spending your money and why. Talk it over with your friends, family and loved ones.

Doug and I have decided not to buy each other presents. We decided that we would put whatever money we would spend on gifts into a fund for travel or for something that we do together. We also want to honor the tradition of gift giving so we agreed to make each other something handmade.

Enjoy your holiday season however you like to celebrate. Eat well. Indulge some. Give gifts from the heart, and remember that most often less is more.

Ps. A unique gift idea might be sending someone an original piece of intentional collage art from The Sacred Tremor Project. Click on blue link for more info!

INTENTION/art

2011-11-24T10:09:00.002-08:00

We are all searching for ways to call upon stronger powers within ourselves to manifest our intentions for creativity, abundance, and change.

The Sacred Tremor Project is a way for you to clarify a specific intention you would like to bring into your or someone’s else’s life.

When you make a donation to The Sacred Tremor Project, an original piece of collage art will be created especially for you based on your personal intention or prayer.

Asking me to create this personal art piece for you will demonstrate your concrete commitment to realizing your intention.

Here’s how it works:

*Create your intention.

You may already have an idea of some intention you would like to create in your life.

If you need, here are some examples to help you identify your intention:

I want to make more money

I want to achieve life/work balance

I want to have deeper intimacy in my relationships

In creating your intention, it’s best to be as specific as possible. Write a sentence or short paragraph describing your intention, and title it with a single word. That word will be the title of your piece of art.

*Make a donation using Paypal

Your donation will sustain me while I do my volunteer work here at Easton Mountain for the summer. You can also have one of these original art pieces made for a friend, family member or loved one and have it mailed directly to them. CLICK HERE to make a donation.

*Anticipate the arrival of your original piece of art.

Each piece of art is 3 1/2 x 6 1/2 and will arrive within 2 weeks.

BJORK/biophilia

2011-11-24T10:09:00.001-08:00

Bjork's newest release!

BIOPHILIA

a short review by Douglas Allen

There are many theories and legends describing how the world came to be as written in Cosmogony,a song off of Biophilia, but what is certain is that we are what we know. If what we know is limited, we can easily become entangled in misalignment, or we can come to a place of wonder and awe and rest in whirls, which is what Biophilia is all about. However, thrashing in the muck is not to be avoided for she sings in Moon, "as if the healthiest pastime is being in life threatening circumstances."

Nature wastes nothing, and is constantly shifting from the tiniest of movements in the Atlantic ridge to eruptions that undo stagnation (Mutual Core). Bjork invites us to connect and compare the cycles in nature to those of our own bodies.

HUMBLE/effort

2011-11-24T10:08:00.001-08:00

Song of the Builders

Mary Oliver

On a summer morning
I sat down
on a hillside
to think about God -

a worthy pastime.
Near me, I saw
a single cricket;
it was moving the grains of the hillside

this way and that way.
How great was its energy,
how humble its effort.
Let us hope

it will always be like this,
each of us going on
in our inexplicable ways
building the universe.

EFFORTLESS/effort

2011-11-24T10:05:00.001-08:00

"The brain learns and performs best when we use the least possible effort to accomplish a given task." -Dennis Lewis

I've been experimenting lately with this idea of effortless effort that was inspired by a passage from The Tao of Natural Breathing by Dennis Lewis. He says that "when we try hard 'to do' something, when we use unnecesary force to accomplish our goals, our whole body generally ends up becoming tense."

Since reading this I've been noticing how much effort I use in the world. I was surprised to see how I use so much unnecssary effort to do the simplest of tasks. The first thing I noticed was that I grab the refridgerator door in a death grip before jerking it open. Then I started to see how I do this with lots of things. How I sometimes walk with a heavy foot, how I yank the toilet paper from the roll, how I turn the knob to go into my room. It goes on and on. My response in noticing how much unnecessary energy and effort I am using is that I've begun to touch the world around me with a softer, more conscious touch.

Try it. The next time you pick something up, unwrap a gift, walk down the stairs, pick up your fork or turn the page of a book notice how much energy you are using and how much actual energy is needed. Notice the shift in your body when you choose to soften the way you interact with your physical environment. For example, I just noticed that as I'm typing this newsletter I've been banging the keys like there's no tomorrow. As I type this sentence using a softer touch on the keys I notice that my breath has actually changed and I feel less hurried.

Dennis Lewis also talks about applying this consciousness to your spiritual practice as well.

OUTSIDE/soul

2011-11-22T16:26:00.001-08:00

BLIND/drawings 1

2011-11-12T10:06:00.001-08:00

My boyfriend Doug has re-introduced me to blind contour drawings. Look at the subject you want to draw. Without looking at the page you take a pen, pencil, paintbrush or whatever and start drawing. When you are finished then you look at what you've created. This contour drawing was of a an older man sitting hunched over reading the paper.

BJORK/moon

2011-11-12T08:52:00.001-08:00

THE/toss

2011-11-12T08:16:00.001-08:00

Doug and I watched James Broughton's short film The Bed last night. We were inspired and made this little spontaneous movie as a response. James Broughton was a poet and filmmaker. He was largely responsible for the Radical Faerie movement in San Francisco.

Here's a poem by James Broughton:

What matters

matters

but it doesn’t

Some of the time

everything

matters

Much of the time

nothing

matters

In the long run

both everything

and nothing

matter a lot

LEMON/tree

2011-11-10T16:40:00.001-08:00

2011-10-31T09:55:00.000-07:00

Ithaka
C.P. Cavafy

As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind—
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

GRAND/opening

2011-10-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

ANIMATED/dance

2011-09-25T21:26:00.000-07:00

COSMIC/mind

2011-09-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

BEAUTIFUL/devastating

2011-09-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

THE/dance

2011-08-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

The Dance

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have sent you my invitation, the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living. Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!” Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires, spiraling down into the ache within the ache, and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart. Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are, and see who I am in the stories I live. And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day. Show me you can risk being completely at peace, truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment, and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring. Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall, the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will. What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart. And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business without letting business determine who you are. When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price, let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world the stories and the songs you want our children’s children to remember. And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude, knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!” Just take my hand and dance with me.

MORNING/yoga

2011-08-25T05:52:00.001-07:00

HOT/dogs

2011-08-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

BEAUTIFUL/moments

2011-08-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

My summer at Easton Mountain has been filled with so many beautiful moments. In fact, each day offers a new strand of extraordinary moments, which at the end of the day I wear like a necklace. Each gem of that necklace an event, a celebration, an adventure, an unexpected connection, which I must shed in order to be adorned with a new necklace of experiences, a new day. The truth is, however, that it’s been a bit overwhelming to wear a new necklace every day. Living so fully in the present moment requires a continual letting go of the past and an unanticipated lean into the future. I look at my jewelry box of moments with both wonder and confusion. How do I make space for it all? Do I hold on to these strands of precious moments? Or do I just simply let them go? And how?

There are some moments that stand out, that sparkle above and beyond the normal glimmer of my experience. Sometimes I want to cling to those moments. Sometimes I want those moments back or I want to repeat them. Sometimes, I feel sad when a stunning sunset is over, when I climb down from the treehouse or float back from an amazing canoe ride, when a friend leaves not knowing when I’ll see him again or when I think about an ex-lover.

Mary Oliver writes, "When it’s over, it’s over and we don’t know any of us, what happens then. So I try not to miss anything. I think, in my whole life, I have never missed the full moon or the slipper of it’s coming back, Or, a kiss. Well, yes, especially a kiss." The point is not to miss anything, to stay alert, to let the richness of life spill into our lives and into our hearts, to let it overflow and to not care whether the spillage is tears of joy or tears of sadness. In the end we don't really know what experiences will make us happy, but one thing for sure is that the more present we can be for each moment the greater our chances of not missing out, of being happy.

Recently, I spent time with a friend of mine who has been visiting Easton Mountain on and off all summer. The conversation lilted from one topic to the next. If I were to put this moment on a necklace it would surely be the jeweled center piece that dangles close to cleavage of my heart. I'm not quite sure what it is about Easton Mountain-- the people, the panoramic views of nature, the continual cool summer breeze, the immaculate night sky, the purple haze of the ethereal Milky Way Galaxy, who knows, but these kinds of spontaneous and deeply satisfying conversations happen often here. In this particular conversation my friend talked about how these incredibly beautiful moments signify a time when we experience something beyond space and time, a time when we engage in something that satisfies the deeper part of our soul. At first we might experience sadness, grief or even anger when that experience is over, which is healthy and good, but ultimately we must allow ourselves to return to seeing those moments as beautiful.

This reminded me of something that Pema Chodrin spoke of in one of her books. She says that the truly open heart is oftentimes tinged with sadness. I realized that both beauty and sadness can be simultaneously true, and that perhaps in some way, they are inseparable.

Two days ago I noticed on the ground a perfect bright red leaf. I exclaimed out loud, “autumn!” I was immediately filled with excitement because autumn is my favorite season. Simultaneously, I felt a stab of pain realizing that the end of the summer is near. There I stood with a bright red leaf in my hand and the warm summer sky all around me.

MARK/nepo

2011-08-19T12:54:00.001-07:00

A poem by Mark Nepo

Having loved enough and lost enough,

I'm no longer searching

just opening,

no longer trying to make sense of pain

but trying to be a soft and sturdy home

in which real things can land.

These are the irritations

that rub into a pearl.

So we can talk for a while

but then we must listen,

the way rocks listen to the sea.

And we can churn at all that goes wrong

but then we must lay all distractions

down and water every living seed.

And yes, on nights like tonight

I too feel alone. But seldom do I

face it squarely enough

to see that it's a door

into the endless breath

that has no breather,

into the surf that human

shells call God.

ALONE/?

2011-08-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

This is a work in progress. It's a 3 panel collage piece inspired by my experience of living in community. Are we alone?

TYPICAL/sunset

2011-08-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

SPIRIT/dance

2011-08-14T17:10:00.000-07:00

Last week was Gay Spirit Camp at Easton Mountain. It's a week of workshops, events and activities to awaken the spirit. It's a group of about 60 men who come together for connection, camaraderie and co-mingling. I must say that it's just an all around darn good time. One of the facilitators asked me to co-direct a workshop/event called "Gay Spirit Dance." 12 men showed up the first day not really even knowing what they were showing up for. Courage was the word that came to mind on that first day. It was 12 men of various ages, shapes and abilities. We got together everyday for 4 days, 2 hours per day, and co-created a choreographed dance, which was full of intention, bravery, self-expression and communal decision making. Getting 12 gay men to co-choreograph a 6 minute dance to be performed in front of 60 people was no small task, mind you. But the experience was wildly fun and deeply satisfying. In the end we performed the dance, which was received with standing ovation. I am so grateful for this experience.

FAERIE/ball

2011-08-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

STARRY/night

2011-08-01T05:37:00.000-07:00

ALTOGETHER/together

2011-07-28T15:22:00.000-07:00

Together

James Broughton

Together

to gather

to begin

to come

to be

together

to begin to

before

behind

because

beyond

between

betwixt

beside

to be

together

to be beside

next to beside

almost beside

nearly beside

closer beside

alongside beside

together

to begin

to behold

to befriend

to befit

to bestow

to believe

to betroth

to belong

together

to be coming

to be he and me

to be me and he

to be he and me and we

coming to be

close to be coming

together

to be almost inside

to be next to inside

to be nearly inside

to be coming inside

together

to be coming

all together

all in all together

altogether together

on the whole together

wholly together

totally together

in toto together

together

totally in toto wholly altogether

all in all wholly totally on the whole

together

altogether wholly in toto in toto

in totally toto together altogether

together

TROUBLE/maker

2011-07-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

Newsy update from The Sacred Tremor Newsletter:

Hey, Y'all!

I hope that you've been keeping up with me on my blog. I've been posting pictures and short movies that I've made. If you haven't checked it out recently go ahead and click now: SACRED TREMOR BLOG There's lots of fun stuff to look at including a recent Full Moon Dance around the fire.

I'm still living at Easton Mountain just north of Albany, NY. I'm truly having the time of my life. I moved here with the intention that this was going to be my SUMMER OF LOVE. It's been everything I dreamed of and more. Everyday I wake up with gratitude that I am here in what I call Heaven on Earth. Everyday is a new adventure. Everyday is a new beginning. Everyday I'm inspired, challenged, uplifted and supported in exploring the deeper aspects of life. Easton Mountain is a spiritual community that encourages and holds space for gay people to find wholeness and connection.

It feels a lot like camp including making a new soulmate friend buddy co-conspirator. Michael James. We somehow have gotten the reputation for being the trouble makers of Easton Mountain. Imagine! I guess we've earned it in that we like to have fun and we don't let much get in our way of being happy and spreading joy to everyone around us.

The land here is beautiful, and I've re-connected to nature's rhythms in a really intimate way. I spend most of my days outside whether it's hiking around the mountain, walking to the garden to pick kale for dinner, swimming in the pool, passing football, canoeing on the pond or relaxing in the hammock. At night the sky is thick with stars and the Milky Way Galaxy roams across the blackness like some ancient mist. Sometimes Michael and I take the canoe out late at night in silence and just soak in the vastness of the universe.

I came to Easton Mountain on somewhat of a sabbatical from teaching. I've been teachig yoga full-time for almost 10 years, and I wanted to take a break for the summer to re-discover myself, to replenish my well. I took on the role of volunteer co-ordinator, which is itself a volunteer position. It feels good to be here in the form of service. I teach yoga, organize and host events, scrub toilets, wash dishes, talk with guests, make movies, frolick and comingle, and keep the volunteer program running smoothly.

My yoga practice has changed quite a bit since being here. I'm less focused on the postures, and I've been exploring the more philosophical side of things. Oh, I'm still doing asana and loving it, but my interests have been focused more on sitting with the questions that come up. What does it mean to live a life of truth? How can I open to more compassion and forgiveness? Do I really need another piece of pie? The questions more often than not lead me to more questions.

What are the questions you are asking yourself today?

Lots of Love,
Roger

PS: I've created The Sacred Tremor Project recently as a means of sustaining myself here at Easton Mountain, while supporting others with their intentions. Find out how you can receive your own original piece of art that holds your intention.

WHEN/oliver

2011-07-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

When

When it's over, it's over, and we don't know

any of us, what happens then.

So I try not to miss anything.

I think, in my whole life, I have never missed

the full moon

or the slipper of its coming back.

Or, a kiss.

Well, yes, especially a kiss.

Mary Oliver

from Swan

MOON/dance

2011-07-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

One of the volunteers here at Easton Mountain organized a Full Moon Ritual around the fire. We were encouraged to dress up. You don't have to tell me twice! I spent the day thinking about what I was going to wear. As the sun went down the fire was lit, and the full moon rose up over the mountain shining it's reflective round light onto the land and onto our faces.

Michael captured me dancing on a log in front of the fire and turned it into a little movie.

STORM/prayer

2011-07-14T06:25:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I went out to the garden to pick some kale for dinner. A storm was quickly approaching. The wind was fierce. The clouds grew more and more ferocious until it let loose a torrential rain fast and furious.

JANE/fonda

2011-07-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

FRESH/altar

2011-07-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

Last night I stayed up late cleaning my altar at the head of my bed. I took everything off and wiped the shelf down. As I put everything back I wiped it off and remembered the significance of that piece. I added some new things and took away some old things that no longer seemed appropriate. After it was all done I prayed. I prayed for peace for myself, for my riends and family, for all beings on this planet.

Here's a video of the altar. The music is from one of Jim Beckwith's albums.

Song : Vayu Putra- Son of the Wind God

Album: Hanuman

www.livemusicforyoga.com

KALE/garden

2011-07-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

My body was craving kale for dinner tonight so I walked up to the garden and picked a big bouquet of purple-red-green kale. I brought it back to the kitchen and sauteed it lightly in olive oil, garlic and sea salt. Oooooo la la. It was, perhaps, the best kale I've ever eaten. No kidding. I'm so thankful for the garden and for Scott Simons who takes care of the garden all summer long. There are so many wonderful vegetables and fruits in this garden. YUM!!

STRANGE/sacred

2011-07-07T19:15:00.000-07:00

DANG/word

2011-07-07T06:37:00.000-07:00

THE/one

2011-07-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

I've been into cover tunes lately. This one stands out to me.

RW+/boom

2011-07-05T12:12:00.001-07:00

Sunday night I hosted a dance party in The Temple at Easton Mountain. I spent the day creating a magical space with big help from my friends here Michael, Marshall and Wayne. I set up the star machine and disco ball. We created a beautiful Moroccan style lounge in the back with draped chiffon fabric, big cushions, candles and slow blinking colored lights. There were candles all around the room with more blinking lights on the altar. I set up a DJ booth and played DJ all evening. A lot of people showed up and we danced our asses off!! At some point I slowed the music down and everyone cozied up on the cushions in a big puppy pile. It was fun to DJ for a puppy pile! A first.

SETTING/up

2011-07-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

Setting up for tonight's event: Red, White + BOOM!! This dance party is sure to rock the house down! Woo Hoo.

HANDSTAND/day

2011-06-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

Happy International Handstand Day!!

NIGHT/dance

2011-06-26T06:47:00.001-07:00

BENJAMIN/zander

2011-06-23T20:25:00.001-07:00

INTERVIEW/tony

2011-06-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

Interview with Anthony Quaglieri. Tony has been coming to Easton Mountain for many, many years. He's has some extraordinary experiences here. He tells about one of them.

I'm starting an interview series of Easton Mountain guests, volunteers and residents. This is the first of the series.

MICHAEL/me

2011-06-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

Tony interviewed Michael and me today about our friendship. This really captures the essence of our playful, brotherly connection. I'm so grateful that he is here at Easton Mountain for the summer.

HARDBOILED/egg

2011-06-19T07:52:00.001-07:00

i woke up this morning feeling like i just wanted to hibernate. so i skipped breakfast and lingered in bed just relaxing and catching up with all my thinking. tony, who is visiting me from tampa, dropped off some hard-boiled eggs for me. sweet. the first egg i devoured. the second egg im saving for later. it's one of those weird twilight-zone kinda days.

FIRE/fly

2011-06-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

Last night me and the boys-- Michael, Jeff and Arturo headed up the mountain for a full moon night hike. We were surrounded by swarms of floating and flittering fireflies. It was magical beyond description. At the top Arturo put on a gypsy dance for us in an abandoned cabin with a single flashlight for the lighting.

SUMMER/crush

2011-06-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

LOVE/fund

2011-06-14T22:59:00.001-07:00

"Let us insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace,. Money will come if we seek first the kingdom of God."

-- Mother Teresa

ST/francis

2011-06-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

St. Francis and The Sow

Galway Kinnel

The bud

stands for all things,

even those things that don't flower,

for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;

though sometimes it is necessary

to reteach a thing its loveliness,

to put a hand on its brow

of the flower

and retell it in words and in touch

it is lovely

until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;

as St. Francis

put his hand on the creased forehead

of the sow, and told her in words and in touch

blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow

began remembering all down her thick length,

from the earthen snout all the way

through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of

the tail,

from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine

down through the great broken heart

to the blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering

from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking

and blowing beneath them:

the long, perfect loveliness of sow.

CLOUD/scape

2011-06-10T21:48:00.001-07:00

ALTOID/car

2011-06-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

TALKING/balls

2011-06-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

CAMP/fire

2011-06-02T14:24:00.000-07:00

Campfire inspired by my new friend Doug Allen who inspired a fun evening of drumming, dancing and stargazing around the fire.

FLOWER/child

2011-05-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

Michael has become my buddy, pal, friend, creative partner, co-frolicker and trouble instigator. He's at Easton for the summer. Don't let that innocent face fool you!

MICHAEL/buzz

2011-05-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

HENNA/party

2011-05-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

HAIR/silence

2011-05-26T17:03:00.000-07:00

ANATOMY/evolution

2011-05-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

I just returned back from 10 days at Kripalu assisting and teaching in the 500 hour program with Grace Jull and Priti Ross. This 9 day module was about teaching the deeper practices of yoga and exploring the physical & subtle body anatomy. It's going to take me a while to integrate this into my life, my practice and my teaching. I am truly blessed to have been able to witness and learn from these amazing teachers.

Above is my response to the training.

EASTON/parade

2011-05-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

I've been at Easton Mountain for a little over two weeks now. Holy Moly! It's been amazing. Yesterday I was hanging out with the volunteers. One thing led to the next and we ended up back at my place trying on costumes and planning a parade to put on for the residents. We had a blast mixing and matching costume pieces and finding just the perfect accessories. What's amazing is that all the costume pieces you see above came from the unicorn box I brought with me all the way from Tampa!!

We got together today before dinner and got ready for our parade. A couple of the volunteers made a float. We went out into th garden and frolicked for a while. The blue sky and warm sun were the backdrop to this absolutely magical moment in time. When the dinner bell rang we knew it was time to start the parade. We danced and flittered our way down the hill where Tim Roger's was unknowling waiting for the float to pick him up. I put together a quick little movie of the parade, which you can watch below.

Tim spent a year here at Easton Mountain. Tonight was his farewell dinner to honor his dedication and service to Easton Mountain. It certainly won't be the same here without him.

The other day I was passing football with friends. Yesterday I climbed trees and sat in the treehouse. Today I was part of a spontaneous parade. I guess this is what Thoreau meant when he said, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

I'm living the life I've imagined, and I'm going to continue to imagine everyday. Life is full of possibility.

PINK/wig

2011-05-11T21:43:00.000-07:00

SPONTANEOUS/parade

2011-05-11T21:42:00.000-07:00

ELEPHANT/neti

2011-05-10T18:46:00.001-07:00

Tonight five of the volunteers came over to my room. We opened up my costume box and spent 1/2 the evening choosing our costumes for the parade that we decided would actually be tomorrow before dinner. We sat around laughing and watching stupid youtube videos and generally just carrying on.

I feel alive in my body and in my life. My creative juices are flowing. I'm practicing yoga daily generally with other people from the community. I've been working a lot of inversions and arm balances as well as opening up my hips. I've made it my goal to do double pigeon every day. My ultimate goal is to do full lotus in handstand. But for now I just have to work on opening my hips so that I can do full lotus without severe pain. The process is fun and grueling at the same time.

I only have one more full day left here at Easton Mountain before I go to Kripalu for 10 days. 10 days! I'm assisting the 500hr module Advanced Asana and Anatomy. I'm super stoked. Then back to Easton!

TREE/house

2011-05-10T17:31:00.000-07:00