ROGER WRITES | Be Aware. Be Awake.

Suheir Hammad writes:

Do not be depressed. Depression is a weight we cannot afford to carry right now. There are plans to make, and hopefully, plans to put in action. Why are so many people voting against their best interests in favor of letting fear guide their politics? Fear has won this round. We will need all our resources not to fall to it. There is nothing to be gained from becoming the victim of a weight that is not ours to carry. Breathe - sigh. And get that dirt off your shoulders.

While I am constantly shocked and awed by what a few people are doing with the power they have, I feel like I pretty much know what I’m working with here. We must practice Fortitude. Compassion. We must remember this country has always had a radical tradition of dissent. This will be the legacy we leave. We will be even louder. Write even better. Live even fuller. We will not be bought into a de-habilitating stupor. We will not be medicated beyond awareness. Alongside that fear you are feeling, is an adrenaline rush. We know now, it is the very soul of our planet and collective humanity we are trying to save. Nothing less.

Do not be depressed. Be aware. Be awake. Be resistant. Be your ancestors. Be your future. Be alive. Be alive.

In the first line of her first poem in Mary Oliver's new book she writes, What can I say that I have not said before? So I'll say it again.

So.

What can I say that has not already been said. Do not be depressed. Be aware. Be awake. Be resistant. Be your ancestors. Be your future. Be alive. Be alive. Take this to heart and begin it. Stand up for the things that are important to you. Let go of the things that bog you down. Jump up and down for joy. Give yourself permission to experience unrestrained excitement! Get out your book of gratitude and start your list. It will be long. Write your name at the top of that list.

Get out your scissors, your glue, crayons, paint, brushes, needle & thread and make art. It might be a big blue dot in the center of the page. It might turn out bad. Who cares! Stimulate your creativity in anyway you can. You are worth it. Spend more time believing that.

It's been said before and in many ways. Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" (Mary Oliver). What do you want to remember about your life when the dark shadow comes to your door? You will most likely not wish that you spent more time at the office, worrying about the future, shopping, etc.. The things you want to remember are the times you laughed so hard you almost peed your pants (or maybe you did!), the most amazing sunset that turned the ocean to gold, the days you spent making art with your best friend... You know what I'm saying.  It's been said before.

What turns you on? What makes you come alive? 

Here's the start of my list:

-the color magenta and things that sparkle

-arts & crafts

-thrift store shopping

-lighting candles and listening to music

-hiking in the mountains

HAPPY/solstice

I returned to Boston yesterday from an incredible weekend in Tampa. When I stepped out of the airport the snow was coming down in large, joyful flakes. The snow continued to come down all the way into the night. As I lay in bed last night with the snow blanketing the world outside I hugged the covers up 'round my neck and I read from Mary Oliver's new book of poetry, Swan. Every poem in this book is an instruction on being present to the incredible mystery of life and on waking up to the infinite amount of joy available everyday if we just pay attention! I admire Mary Oliver's wit, honesty and example. When I read the above poem-- for the umpteenth time-- I cried. I cried because I have a beautiful life and because I sometimes forget just how incredible life is.

Today is the Solstice-- the darkest night of the year. I'm celebrating today by keeping track of all the things that I'm grateful for. I'm carrying around my gratitude journal and everytime something happens that I'm grateful for I write it down. Everytime I remember something that I'm grateful for from this past year or from my long lived life I write it down. The list is growing and growing. Things that I never thought I'd be grateful for are suddenly ending up on the list. The most profound thing that I'm realizing is that there is actually nothing that I'm not grateful for. Nothing. When I had this thought a few hours ago I wrote on a new page of my journal: Things I'm NOT grateful for. Everytime I've gone to write something on that list I realized that there was actually something in that to be grateful for and I added it to the gratitude list.

"Joy is not made to be a crumb," and neither is gratitude. As the year comes to an end I encourage you to get a journal and write on the front of it: GRATITUDE. Write in it everyday. It doesn't matter how small or large the feeling of gratitude. Write it down. And when you write down someone's name in this list let them know in someway-- a card, a phone call, a text. When you see your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors hug them and say, "I'm so grateful for you."

If you were next to me right now I'd be wrapping my arms around you and whispering in your ear, "I'm so grateful for you!"

SACRED/space

One of the first things I do when I settle into a new place is create a sacred altar. Altars help keep me grounded on my spiritual path. In many ways everything in my life becomes an altar. The way I put my fruit in the basket, the way I keep my self-care products arranged, how I fold my clothes (um, when I fold my clothes), etc.. Basically, every flat surface in my space becomes an opportunity to create something special and beautiful. Just like me my altars are constantly evolving and changing. I'm always adding, rearranging and removing things so that my altars are a current reflection of who I am and what I am inspiring in my life.

Altars serve many purposes. They can invoke our imaginations, hold our intentions and remind us of our spiritual path. Oftentimes, an altar holds space for all of those things. You can create an altar anywhere you like. It's best if it is some place that is special to you, a place that you see often.

Things to consider as you create an altar?

~What am I creating in my life?

~What brings me peace?

~Who or what inspires me?

~What am I grateful for

~What am I honoring in my life?

What to put on your altar?

~sacred objects

~pieces of nature-- a stone, seashell, leaf, etc.

~religious or spiritual figures or icons

~a poem, inspiration quote or collage

~a plant, picture or piece of candy

~any object that you find beautiful or special

~anything that inspires you or holds your intentions

Most importantly, when creating an altar let your imagination run free. Let your altar be a creative reflection. Don't let your altar become stale or neglected.

Enjoy creating your sacred space.

BROKEN/horn

On Thursday while I was at South Station bus terminal in Boston waiting in line for the Peter Pan bus for a weekend trip to New York City another bus came into the station with a broken horn that was blaring without pause. The sound of a bus horn reverberating off of the walls of the bus terminal is enough to drive anyone crazy. It went on and on and on. There were about 30 people in line waiting for the bus, and slowly agitation started to set in. Five minutes later people started to get anxious. Ten minutes later I became worried that someone was going to explode. I closed my eyes and tried to just breathe, but the sound of the blaring horn overwhelmed me.

There was a woman in front on me who must have 70 years old. She turned to me and said, "if you sing with the sound it won't be so bad." I told her that I thought it was a great idea to which she looked me in the eye and replied, "so let me hear it." I had an immediate knee jerk reaction of resistance. You want me to sing in the middle of the bus terminal to the sound of a broken bus horn? Then, reaching down and finding the courage to be foolish, I belted out a sound that more resembled the sound of AUM than anything else. She broke into sound with me. Together we started to harmonize with the sound, and the grating horn quickly turned into one part of a three part harmony. We laughed and sang and made sounds. I was having so much fun that I forgot that we were standing in line at a busy bus terminal, and the sound of the horn became a doorway into spontaneity.

We stepped onto the bus gaily. All throughout the trip I felt connected to this woman. Every once in a while we would catch each others glance and smile.

The lesson here is quite obvious. It's the old story of turning lemons into lemonade; taking a potentially negative situation and responding in a new way. It reminded me that though I may not have control over what goes on around me I do have control over how I respond. This woman was an angel.

COMMUNITY/living

For a long time I’ve dreamed of living in community with other gay men in a big house. Since moving to Boston that urge has gotten stronger. A lot stronger. So I’ve started to be more intentional about making it happen. The first step has been to create a vision of what I want, and since I’m a very visual person I started to create a collage book. If you are interested in living in community and what you see appeals to you then write me an email and let’s share thoughts, ideas and inspirations.