ART/show

Tonight was the first in a series of Art Exhibitions going to be held at Easton Mountain this summer. There were two artist's work on display. The great room was transformed with art, hors d'oeuvres, wine and a room full of people mingling. I got dressed up and encouraged other to dress up for the event as well. It was a little piece of cosmo brought to this gay country retreat. Needless to say I had a blast.

Later on in the evening Jonathan led a beautiful heart circle. He played a magnificent piece on the piano which was followed by silence and then an encouragement to speak about what was present. The sharings were beautiful, heartful and inspiring.

I fall more and more in love everyday.

COUNTRY/view

OFFICE/day

I've been waking every morning with the sun and going down to the great room and practicing yoga. I make a french press coffee, put on some music and flow with whatever my bhav is that morning. This morning I practiced yoga with Tim Cooley (resident yoga instructor). We mostly did partner yoga.

After yoga and breakfast I started my first official day of work as volunteer co-ordinator. We set up a temporary office space next to the big windows in the great room. The windows look out on to the land and on to the slow approach of spring. The new green buds are starting to pop and the trees are beginning to blossom. The dandelions have opened their yellow hearts like stars on the hillsides. A beautiful bird banged into the window and fell to the ground while I was sitting at the desk. I went outside and picked it up. It pooped on me twice before I found a safe place to put it where I could keep an eye on it from the window. Half an hour later it flew away.

COBB/house

This is the cobb house at Easton Mtn. It's where the gardener lives. There is a huge garden here which is getting larger and more sophisticated every year. Several people who live here in this community have been studying permaculture, which will start to be incorporated into the structure of this thriving garden. The idea is to start growing more food to feed residents and guests. This is part of the practice and intention of sustainability which Easton strives for.

MOVING/in

It's official. I am now an Easton Mountain resident.

I loaded up my Uhaul truck yesterday morning and hit the road. I brought everything I own with me. It's amazing how stuff accumulates. In October I moved from Tampa to Boston, and everything I owned fit in the back seat of my truck. I just moved to Easton Mtn-- into a much smaller room-- and I had to rent a Uhaul.

I painted the walls a lovely grey color called dolphin fin and I hung new wooden blinds. My room looks out over the land of Easton and onto the mountain. It's quite a spectacular view. I'm happy to be here. It feels like home.

BLUE/egg

Happy Easter!

G/nome

DAY/one

It's April 23rd. I woke up this morning to a surprise snow storm. I was delighted, and I celebrated the magical quality that a spring snow storm offers. I walked out of my room and down to the lodge to teach a yoga class. The resident yoga instructor is out of town and I volunteered to teach. Part of my intention for being here is to love and to serve.

ARRIVE/easton

I arrived at Easton Mountain today. Immediately upon arriving a dear friend asked me to go for a walk. We strolled along a trail that meandered around the lake. Easton Mountain is far away from everything. The quiet of the woods was at first a bit overwhelming. After I settled into the initial quiet I noticed how it wasn't quiet at all. The frogs were making their loud sounds, the wind in the trees, unidentified bird sounds, scampering. Karl pointed out some birds and identified their call. And then I heard it-- the sound of my own breathing! This is exactly what my soul needs right now. Quiet. Time to unplug, to unravel and to integrate. I am happy to be here. I am home.

SUMMER/blog

Spring in the Boston Common

It's Tuesday, I think. I'm sitting at a cafe in Boston drinking green tea, listening to music and watching the rain. Spring has finally arrived. The trees have started to blossom and pop with green. Ahhhh, it gives me hope that warmer weather is on the way. I love these kinds of cozy rainy days. I'm an extrovert, an enneagram 7, a nomad, a pisces, and I'm pitta driven. I'm naturally drawn out into the world. The low clouds and drizzle are a welcome invitation for me to tune in to what's happening inside, to be more reflective.

Even amidst the bustling noise of people talking, the sounds of coffee brewing and the general noise of the city all I have to do is close my eyes and everything is available-- joy, sadness, excitement, trepidation, fear, curiosity, confusion. I sit with it all. At first it's a little overwhelming, but I simply take a deep breathe and discover what's underneath of all of that. Dana Faulds says, "go in and in and turn away from nothing that you find." So. I go in. And I go in. There's the wound of an old love. There's the excitement of a new adventure. There's the death of Knavin and ultimately the fear of my own death. There's fear and confidence both resting in the nest of my heart.

I'm still learning about vulnerability. I wrestle with insecurity. Am I good enough? Isn't that something we all wrestle with in some way? In Brene Brown's Ted talk on vulnerability she says, "what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful." I try to remember that as I move through the world, but it's not always easy. Fortunately, I'm not looking for easy. I'm looking for what's true, and though that can be difficult the truth is what makes me feel safe, connected and sometimes vulnerable. She goes on to say that when you numb the hard feelings you simulanteously cut yourself off from joy and happiness.

So. Saying that...

I'm leaving Boston this Friday and moving to Easton Mountain for the summer to volunteer, to be out in nature, to be in community with other gay men, to deepen my own personal spiritual practice and to do some necessary inner work. Easton Mountain is truly a sanctuary. It's nestled into the mountains. There are huge gardens, an art pavilion, lake, swimming pool, sauna, trails and three healthy yummy cooked meals everyday.

I've re-engaged my blog, which I plan to update often with pictures, writings and other inspirations. Please check in often to see what kind of trouble I'm getting myself into this summer. And if you have time please drop me a note to say hello and tell me of your own adventures and meanderings.

RABBIT/truth

What Is Real?
Margery Williams, From The Velveteen Rabbit

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when he and the Skin Horse were lying side by side near the nursery fender….

“REAL isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful

IMAGINING/spring

Spring is slowly approaching. Very slowly. I love the anticipation and how there's a daily presentation of something new. The other day I went to the Arboretum in Jamaica Plain with an old friend. We climbed trees and rejoiced in blue skies and the light, warm air. Then yesterday I saw crocuses poking up through a remaining patch of snow. Today it was 40 degrees, then it snowed, then it turned into sunny blue skies, and now it's 32 degrees and dropping. Oh what a smorgasbord of wonder nature offers New England!

I've been in Boston almost 6 months now, and I feel like I'm finally arriving here. Im making friends, I don't get lost as often and my yoga clases at South Boston Yoga are going great!

My new years commitment to create more art and make more love has changed the way I see and relate to the world. More and more I see the world as an interactive museum of art that asks me to touch and smell and look and listen; invites me to play and take delight. Everyday I fall in love with something or someone. Creating more art has also helped me to see, feel and accept my sorrows, my challenges and my fears. It has helped me to gracefully surrender to life just as it is.

And isn't that the practice of yoga? Doing more and more of the things that bring joy, inspiration and contentment while accepting that life has ups and downs, moments of connection with times of isolation, times when we stand on top of the world and times when we enter the cave of grief.

David Whyte says, "Absent the edge we drown in numbness." Just like in the physical practice of yoga we meet the edge of a stretch and we are invited to linger and to wait. Eventually-- in that moment or maybe months down the road-- something loosens, something shifts and that muscle lets go a little, that heart ache softens, that resistance to life disappears. If the edge is too painful then it's time to back off a little, come out of the pose or take a break. Then when we are ready we come back to the edge and explore again.

The spring equinox is approaching. This is a great time to reflect upon the first quarter of the year. How have you been doing with your new years intentions? What has inspired you? What has challenged you? Perhaps it's time to re-commit to your intentions, or maybe it's time to create a new intention for this next quarter of the year. Remember to reflect with compassion.

Wishing everyone a happy and joyful seasonal transition! Happy Spring.

DEEPEST/fear

Our Deepest Fear

Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of god. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory that is within us. And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

CONTAGIOUS/joy

I was in Tampa last weekend with 40 awesome students who are in The Lotus Pond Yoga Teaching Training. Wow. Amazing. One of things that inspired me from the weekend is “Contagious Joy.” It has become my mantra for the week, and I'm taking it with me into my weekend. Have you ever noticed how joy really is contagious?

The day after the workshop I was sitting outside at a cafe drinking, um, tea. Yeah, tea. There was a couple sitting near me and they were laughing and laughing and carrying on about something. I have no idea what it was about, but I was completely drawn in. I was smiling real big and on the verge of laughing myself. One of them looked up and caught me staring and smiling. There was a moment of pause before we both burst out in spontaneous laughter. We didn't say anything to each other. They carried on with their conversation, and I sat there smiling and chuckling to myself-- about nothing. I closed my eyes and noticed the joyful feeling in my body. There it was that tingling sensation, that feeling of connection.

So, I've been thinking about it. If joy is contagious then it probably means that other feelings are contagious: confidence, peacefulness and love as well as their opposites: fear, negativity and aggression. You probably know people who make you feel good in some way just by being around them; and there are others who make you feel anxious or irritated in some way without saying a word.

We communicate with people in various different ways. In fact, only 15 percent of how we communicate is verbal. The biggest factors are body language, facial expressions and eye contact. Oftentimes, we are not even aware it, which is one of the huge benefits of practicing yoga-- it puts us in touch with our body and gives us access to the feelings that show up. Those feelings that show up in our body can be happening underneath of our conscious awareness and because the body speaks those feelings are expressed and interpreted. Whether we are aware of it or not we easily pick up on what body language. The more you are aware how feelings, thoughts and emotions are expressed in your body the more you start to understand and trust your gut feeling.

What is your body saying right now? Listen. Listen. It's telling you everything important that you need to know.

SIMPLE WAYS YOGA CAN HELP YOU:

Use your yoga practice to cultivate deeper awareness and find balance. For example, If you have a tendency to roll the shoulders forward or you want to be more open-hearted practice more back bends. If you want to cultivate more joy in your life put on some fun music, throw your arms in the air and dance! Let that be your yoga. If you're feeling chaotic or ungrounded practice poses that focus on the feet, forward folds or twists. If you want more adventure sign up for an arm balancing workshop or take a dance class.

THE/swan

The Swan

by Mary Oliver

Across the wide waters

something comes

floating—a slim

and delicate

ship, filled

with white flowers—

and it moves

on its miraculous muscles

as though time didn’t exist,

as though bringing such gifts

to the dry shore

was a happiness

almost beyond bearing.

And now it turns its dark eyes,

it rearranges

the clouds of its wings,

it trails

an elaborate webbed foot,

the color of charcoal.

Soon it will be here.

Oh, what shall I do

when the poppy-colored beak

rests in my hand?

Said Mrs. Blake of the poet:

I miss my husband’s company—

he is so often

In paradise.

Of course! the path to heaven

doesn’t lie down in flat miles.

It’s in the imagination

with which you perceive

this world,

and the gestures

with which you honor it.

Oh, what will I do, what will I say when those

white wings

touch the shore?