TURN/around

I was recently at Citizens Bank here in Boston to make a deposit. As I was waiting for the next available teller I noticed this sign:

Enter

Behind every

good citizen

is another

good citizen.

(Why not turn around and say hi?)

I was excited by this. How wonderful that a bank would ask you to turn around and introduce yourself to a stranger. It's the way I imagine the world to be. When the need for self-reliance and hyper-independence gets softened by the recognition that we all have a need for interconnection and a sense of community we have a greater sense of belonging. When our need for connection is met we feel happier, stronger, and more confident. It gives us support to thrive, to be more creative and to accomplish the things we want to do. It's important to recognize that we can't do it alone-- whatever "it" is. And it's empowering to turn around and make a connection. It's empowering because it makes us vulnerable, and it's our vulnerability that makes us brighter, more radiant, more available and more human.

I've made it my intention to interact with the world more. I've started greeting the person behind me in line with a friendly hello. I introduce myself with my first name and eye contact. I strick up a conversation with the person behind the counter. The truth is there hasn't been one instance since I've started doing this intentionally that I haven't been immediately greeted with a smile. In most cases the person I'm greeting brightens and interacts back.

The other day I was at the grocery store and I asked a woman where to find tahini. She immediately said, "I don't work here." I replied, "I know, but I thought maybe you might be able to help me. I've never been in this grocery store, and I feel a little lost." She smiled. She didn't know where it was either, but she took me to where she thought it might be. She asked me what I was going to make with it, and we started talking about our favorite foods. We found the tahini together. I walked away feeling lighter and happier, and I imagine that she did, too. I've thought about her several times since then remembering her face and her soft eyes. I've been back to that grocery store a couple of times since then and each time I wonder if I'll see her.

What I've noticed is that it's especially on the days that I feel grumpy and disconnected that I keep my head down and pull away from the world, and it's those exact moments when human connection is what I need the most-- even if it's just a moment of eye contact or a smile.

Be yourself. Smile. Make eye contact. Interact with the world.