LOVE/biology

Take the time to watch this. It is revelatory and instructive.

CIRCLE/shirt

A few months ago I spilled some of my Ayuvedic oil on my favorite brown tank top. I liked the color and the way it fit me so I couldn't throw it out.  So.  I put it in the heap of clothes and fabric for sewing and repair.  The other day I went through that pile thinking I was either going to deal with the stuff or throw it out.  I took this brown tank top and with a brush and some bleach I drew a circle on the front of it where the oil stain was. I let is sit for a couple of hours and then tossed it in the wash.  The above is the result.  I actually like it even more now. 

SCORPION/prep

A couple years ago I set out to master  Scorpion Pose.  I worked on it for a while, but then I moved and life happened.  I ended up taking several months off from teaching and practicing.  It was a good break.  Recently, my urge to teach and practice yoga have come back full force.  I've been practicing everyday and totally enjoying it.  Today, I got out the chair and decided I'm ready to re-engage my commitment to Scorpion.  The above is a picture of one of the preparatory poses.  I'm heading back into teaching full-time.  It's good to take a break from the things I love.  When I return I'm oftentimes refreshed and re-inspired.

WATER/color

For Christmas Doug bought me a beautiful bound book of handmade watercolor paper.  At first I was intimidated.  When I was younger I did a lot of watercolor.  I've thought about doing it again.  Year after year went by.  Over time I got rid of the paints, the brushes and the paper.  Doug's gift inspired me to start again.  I bought some watercolor and brushes.  I opened the page, and, after a mini-anxiety attack, I grabbed a lemon from the fruit bowl and started painting.  I was immediately happy to be putting paint on the page without any judgement or need to get it right.  It's my goal this year to fill up this book with experiments in watercolor.  I leave all judgements and unnecessary criticisms behind.

NY/moment

After Doug and I left the show, Sleep No More, we stepped out of the doors to see this man with a big red hear made out of balloons.  He announced to the crowd, "I screwed up."  He was waiting to make amends with someone.  Watch to see what happens...

OPEN/heart

If you look closely, the picture reads: "Keep your heart open NO matter what."  It reminded me of a Krishna Das kirtan I attended a few years back in Vermont.  At the end of an ecstatic chant, in the resounding silence, he simply said: "May we open and never close."  Tears streamed down my face as I felt the openness in that moment while simultaneously recognizing the great feat and immense courage it takes to keep the heart open.  I bowed in humility knowing that the task of such a request is impossible, and yet the intention holds the light when the dark cold doors of the heart unexpectedly close.

I was walking down the street with my boyfriend Doug a couple of weeks ago when he pointed out to me a tag of an unknown Brooklyn graffiti artist on a black garage door (above).  I was in a tizzy over something he had said or didn't say earlier that day. I don’t remember. What I remember is that my heart was closed, my body was tense, and I was breathing shallowly.  When I read the words my first response was actually an increase of anger.  I was clinging to the comfort of my bad mood.  I was rolling around in it.  You know how it is, something triggers you and you can't let it go and nothing anybody says or does can make you let it go.  Somehow, being mad is sometimes easier than opening to the discomfort of what is right before you.  I attempted to smile, but it was meager.

Less than an hour later we were having breakfast at the Willburg Cafe laughing and talking and drinking coffee and eating really good food.  Whatever it was that had made me angry I left on the sidewalk somewhere along the way.  It all changes.  Everything.  "The only constant is change."  It's been said by lots of people, written in books on spirituality, and elaborated on in many blogs.  It's even a song title by a band called As I Lay Dying, which I don't recommend unless you want to thrash your head to some death metal, which I am sometimes known to do.

The point is to try not to cling to your moods and emotions.  They are temporary states.  They rotate on the axis of our experience, and we have the ability to influence our experience just by simply remembering that we are not defined by your emotions.  They change.  The next time you are gripped with emotion, any emotion, remember  that you will not always feel this way.  Then take a breath, and allow yourself to really lean into your experience.  It's the same with our joy, as well.  We have an ecstatic moment and we think it's always going to be like this.  Then it isn't and we crash.  We are in a constant state of expanding and contracting.  It's the basic law of the universe.  It's our breath; it's the seasons, the waves of the ocean, the wind, the clouds.

Yoga and meditation are practices which can influence our mood fluctuations.  The second of Pantanjali's Yoga Sutras reads: "yoga chitta vritti nirodha," which translates as “yoga is the stilling of the thought-waves of the mind,” or (my translation): practice yoga and get a grip on your crazy mind!  These practices work because in yoga and meditation you are asked to focus the mind in some way, to be in the present moment, to experience thoughts and emotions and feelings as fleeting. The stilling of the mind doesn't happen in your first class or second or even after 10 years of practice, but over time the fluctuations become less and less.  All of a sudden we are able to recover from emotional distress faster and live more fully in the present moment without denying that "shit happens."  Yoga and meditation are tools to help us enjoy life and to cope with the stresses of living in an over-stimulated world full of chaos.

Alan Watts says, "As muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil.”

BLIND/drawing 6

BLACK/moustache

BLIND/drawing 5

KOMBUCHA/betty

I started my Kombucha just a little over 2 weeks ago.  I always name my kombucha mothers.  This one is Betty.  Today I poured it from the glass.  There was a slight fizz (a good thing).  Then all of a sudden I was looking at the bottom of the glass.  YUM!  Kombucha is a tasty, fermented beverage that has endless health benefits especially for digestion.  It's easy to make and a lot less expensive then buying it by the bottle.  Here's a link to a site that gives great, easy instructions:  Make Your Own Kombucha!

ENJOY!

YOGA/playshop

The Yoga Playshop; Discover what moves you

Easton Mountain | Greenwich, NY

January 13 - 15, 2012

Explore your creative side through yoga, movement, art, and play. In this yoga playshop you will:

-- Explore yoga, movement and art in a community of gay men

-- Discover the ins and outs of basic yoga postures

-- Play with movement sequences to stretch your body and open your heart

-- Create visual art that grows out of your experience of your body

-- Experience an ecstatic trance dance that will leave you vibrating with joy

-- Explore breathing techniques to calm the mind, energize your body and ignite your spirit

-- Be inspired by a wide range of music and poetry

This workshop is for everyone. You need no prior yoga experience.

FREAK/out

PHANTO/gram

BLIND/drawing 4

Self Portrait with winter wool hat

BLIND/drawing 3

BLIND/drawing 2

Blind Contour Drawing

Doug sitting in bed on a cool November morning with the window slightly open and the kids in the school yard playing loudly.  Doug without a shirt sitting in front of me so open and available and sexy and warm.  He had just brought me green tea that he made from the tea we got at Flower Power last week.  He made it too strong and we had to dilute it by adding hot water.

BLACK/friday

Black Friday is coming up in just a few days.  I've been seeing hyped up, big blow-out, sale-of-the-year marketing campaigns everywhere.  Even the site I use to upload my photos has a blaring video announcing Macy's Black Friday sale.  At the same time I am also being sent links and seeing posts on Facebook and Twitter asking me to not spend a cent on Black Friday. So I ask myself, what do I do.  I appreciate the sentiment of the Spend-No-Money-On-Black-Friday protest, but I think there's a more practical and effective way to create change around how we spend money.  The slogan I created for myself is this:  You money is your vote.  What are you voting for? It means being conscious about what you are supporting with your dollar.  Before going out this holiday season to load up on gifts and holiday treats take a deep breath and consider what you are voting for.  Instead of shopping at Walmart or Target or some other big box store try making your holiday purchases at smaller, independently owned shops.   You might think about buying some of your holiday goodies from your local natural foods store. Whenever possible make the effort to choose consciously how you are spending your money and why. Talk it over with your friends, family and loved ones.

Doug and I have decided not to buy each other presents.  We decided that we would put whatever money we would spend on gifts into a fund for travel or for something that we do together.  We also want to honor the tradition of gift giving so we agreed to make each other something handmade.

Enjoy your holiday season however you like to celebrate.  Eat well.  Indulge some.  Give gifts from the heart, and remember that most often less is more.

Ps.  A unique gift idea might be sending someone an original piece of intentional collage art from The Sacred Tremor Project.  Click on blue link for more info!

INTENTION/art

We are all searching for ways to call upon stronger powers within ourselves to manifest our intentions for creativity, abundance, and change.   

The Sacred Tremor Project is a way for you to clarify a specific intention you would like to bring into your or someone’s else’s life.   

When you make a donation to The Sacred Tremor Project, an original piece of collage art will be created especially for you based on your personal intention or prayer.

Asking me to create this personal art piece for you will demonstrate your concrete commitment to realizing your intention.

Here’s how it works:

  

*Create your intention. 

You may already have an idea of some intention you would like to create in your life.   

If you need, here are some examples to help you identify your intention:

    I want to make more money

    I want to achieve life/work balance

    I want to have deeper intimacy in my relationships

In creating your intention, it’s best to be as specific as possible.  Write a sentence or short paragraph describing your intention, and title it with a single word.  That word will be the title of your piece of art.

*Make a donation using Paypal

Your donation will sustain me while I do my volunteer work here at Easton Mountain for the summer.  You can also have one of these original art pieces made for a friend, family member or loved one and have it mailed directly to them.  CLICK HERE to make a donation.

*Anticipate the arrival of your original piece of art.

Each piece of art is 3 1/2 x 6 1/2 and will arrive within 2 weeks.

BJORK/biophilia

Bjork's newest release!

BIOPHILIA

a short review by Douglas Allen

There are many theories and legends describing how the world came to be as written in Cosmogony,a song off of Biophilia, but what is certain is that we are what we know.  If what we know is limited, we can easily become entangled in misalignment, or we can come to a place of wonder and awe and rest in whirls, which is what Biophilia is all about.  However, thrashing in the muck is not to be avoided for she sings in Moon, "as if the healthiest pastime is being in life threatening circumstances."

Nature wastes nothing, and is constantly shifting from the tiniest of movements in the Atlantic ridge to eruptions that undo stagnation (Mutual Core). Bjork invites us to connect and compare the cycles in nature to those of our own bodies.

HUMBLE/effort

Song of the Builders

Mary Oliver

On a summer morning
I sat down
on a hillside
to think about God -

a worthy pastime.
Near me, I saw
a single cricket;
it was moving the grains of the hillside

this way and that way.
How great was its energy,
how humble its effort.
Let us hope

it will always be like this,
each of us going on
in our inexplicable ways
building the universe.

EFFORTLESS/effort

"The brain learns and performs best when we use the least possible effort to accomplish a given task." -Dennis Lewis

I've been experimenting lately with this idea of effortless effort that was inspired by a passage from The Tao of Natural Breathing by Dennis Lewis.  He says that "when we try hard 'to do' something, when we use unnecesary force to accomplish our goals, our whole body generally ends up becoming tense."

Since reading this I've been noticing how much effort I use in the world.  I was surprised to see how I use so much unnecssary effort to do the simplest of tasks.  The first thing I noticed was that I grab the refridgerator door in a death grip before jerking it open. Then I started to see how I do this with lots of things.  How I sometimes walk with a heavy foot, how I yank the toilet paper from the roll, how I turn the knob to go into my room.  It goes on and on.  My response in noticing how much unnecessary energy and effort I am using is that I've begun to touch the world around me with a softer, more conscious touch.

Try it.  The next time you pick something up, unwrap a gift, walk down the stairs, pick up your fork or turn the page of a book notice how much energy you are using and how much actual energy is needed.  Notice the shift in your body when you choose to soften the way you interact with your physical environment.  For example, I just noticed that as I'm typing this newsletter I've been banging the keys like there's no tomorrow.  As I type this sentence using a softer touch on the keys I notice that my breath has actually changed and I feel less hurried.

Dennis Lewis also talks about applying this consciousness to your spiritual practice as well.

OUTSIDE/soul

BLIND/drawings 1

My boyfriend Doug has re-introduced me to blind contour drawings.  Look at the subject you want to draw.  Without looking at the page you take a pen, pencil, paintbrush or whatever and start drawing.  When you are finished then you look at what you've created.  This contour drawing was of a an older man sitting hunched over reading the paper.

BJORK/moon

THE/toss

Doug and I watched James Broughton's short film The Bed last night.  We were inspired and made this little spontaneous movie as a response.  James Broughton was a poet and filmmaker.  He was largely responsible for the Radical Faerie movement in San Francisco.


Here's a poem by James Broughton:


What matters

matters

but it doesn’t

Some of the time

everything

matters

Much of the time

nothing

matters

In the long run

both everything

and nothing

matter a lot

LEMON/tree

ITHAKA/voyage

Ithaka
C.P. Cavafy


As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.
 
Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind—
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.
 
Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
 
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.
 
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean. 

GRAND/opening

ANIMATED/dance

COSMIC/mind

BEAUTIFUL/devastating

THE/dance

The Dance

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have sent you my invitation, the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living. Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!” Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires, spiraling down into the ache within the ache, and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart. Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are, and see who I am in the stories I live. And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day. Show me you can risk being completely at peace, truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment, and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring. Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall, the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will. What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart. And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business without letting business determine who you are. When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price, let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world the stories and the songs you want our children’s children to remember. And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude, knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!” Just take my hand and dance with me.