LOVE/biology

Take the time to watch this. It is revelatory and instructive.

CIRCLE/shirt

A few months ago I spilled some of my Ayuvedic oil on my favorite brown tank top. I liked the color and the way it fit me so I couldn't throw it out.  So.  I put it in the heap of clothes and fabric for sewing and repair.  The other day I went through that pile thinking I was either going to deal with the stuff or throw it out.  I took this brown tank top and with a brush and some bleach I drew a circle on the front of it where the oil stain was. I let is sit for a couple of hours and then tossed it in the wash.  The above is the result.  I actually like it even more now. 

SCORPION/prep

A couple years ago I set out to master  Scorpion Pose.  I worked on it for a while, but then I moved and life happened.  I ended up taking several months off from teaching and practicing.  It was a good break.  Recently, my urge to teach and practice yoga have come back full force.  I've been practicing everyday and totally enjoying it.  Today, I got out the chair and decided I'm ready to re-engage my commitment to Scorpion.  The above is a picture of one of the preparatory poses.  I'm heading back into teaching full-time.  It's good to take a break from the things I love.  When I return I'm oftentimes refreshed and re-inspired.

WATER/color

For Christmas Doug bought me a beautiful bound book of handmade watercolor paper.  At first I was intimidated.  When I was younger I did a lot of watercolor.  I've thought about doing it again.  Year after year went by.  Over time I got rid of the paints, the brushes and the paper.  Doug's gift inspired me to start again.  I bought some watercolor and brushes.  I opened the page, and, after a mini-anxiety attack, I grabbed a lemon from the fruit bowl and started painting.  I was immediately happy to be putting paint on the page without any judgement or need to get it right.  It's my goal this year to fill up this book with experiments in watercolor.  I leave all judgements and unnecessary criticisms behind.

NY/moment

After Doug and I left the show, Sleep No More, we stepped out of the doors to see this man with a big red hear made out of balloons.  He announced to the crowd, "I screwed up."  He was waiting to make amends with someone.  Watch to see what happens...

OPEN/heart

If you look closely, the picture reads: "Keep your heart open NO matter what."  It reminded me of a Krishna Das kirtan I attended a few years back in Vermont.  At the end of an ecstatic chant, in the resounding silence, he simply said: "May we open and never close."  Tears streamed down my face as I felt the openness in that moment while simultaneously recognizing the great feat and immense courage it takes to keep the heart open.  I bowed in humility knowing that the task of such a request is impossible, and yet the intention holds the light when the dark cold doors of the heart unexpectedly close.

I was walking down the street with my boyfriend Doug a couple of weeks ago when he pointed out to me a tag of an unknown Brooklyn graffiti artist on a black garage door (above).  I was in a tizzy over something he had said or didn't say earlier that day. I don’t remember. What I remember is that my heart was closed, my body was tense, and I was breathing shallowly.  When I read the words my first response was actually an increase of anger.  I was clinging to the comfort of my bad mood.  I was rolling around in it.  You know how it is, something triggers you and you can't let it go and nothing anybody says or does can make you let it go.  Somehow, being mad is sometimes easier than opening to the discomfort of what is right before you.  I attempted to smile, but it was meager.

Less than an hour later we were having breakfast at the Willburg Cafe laughing and talking and drinking coffee and eating really good food.  Whatever it was that had made me angry I left on the sidewalk somewhere along the way.  It all changes.  Everything.  "The only constant is change."  It's been said by lots of people, written in books on spirituality, and elaborated on in many blogs.  It's even a song title by a band called As I Lay Dying, which I don't recommend unless you want to thrash your head to some death metal, which I am sometimes known to do.

The point is to try not to cling to your moods and emotions.  They are temporary states.  They rotate on the axis of our experience, and we have the ability to influence our experience just by simply remembering that we are not defined by your emotions.  They change.  The next time you are gripped with emotion, any emotion, remember  that you will not always feel this way.  Then take a breath, and allow yourself to really lean into your experience.  It's the same with our joy, as well.  We have an ecstatic moment and we think it's always going to be like this.  Then it isn't and we crash.  We are in a constant state of expanding and contracting.  It's the basic law of the universe.  It's our breath; it's the seasons, the waves of the ocean, the wind, the clouds.

Yoga and meditation are practices which can influence our mood fluctuations.  The second of Pantanjali's Yoga Sutras reads: "yoga chitta vritti nirodha," which translates as “yoga is the stilling of the thought-waves of the mind,” or (my translation): practice yoga and get a grip on your crazy mind!  These practices work because in yoga and meditation you are asked to focus the mind in some way, to be in the present moment, to experience thoughts and emotions and feelings as fleeting. The stilling of the mind doesn't happen in your first class or second or even after 10 years of practice, but over time the fluctuations become less and less.  All of a sudden we are able to recover from emotional distress faster and live more fully in the present moment without denying that "shit happens."  Yoga and meditation are tools to help us enjoy life and to cope with the stresses of living in an over-stimulated world full of chaos.

Alan Watts says, "As muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil.”

BLIND/drawing 6

BLACK/moustache

BLIND/drawing 5

KOMBUCHA/betty

I started my Kombucha just a little over 2 weeks ago.  I always name my kombucha mothers.  This one is Betty.  Today I poured it from the glass.  There was a slight fizz (a good thing).  Then all of a sudden I was looking at the bottom of the glass.  YUM!  Kombucha is a tasty, fermented beverage that has endless health benefits especially for digestion.  It's easy to make and a lot less expensive then buying it by the bottle.  Here's a link to a site that gives great, easy instructions:  Make Your Own Kombucha!

ENJOY!

YOGA/playshop

The Yoga Playshop; Discover what moves you

Easton Mountain | Greenwich, NY

January 13 - 15, 2012

Explore your creative side through yoga, movement, art, and play. In this yoga playshop you will:

-- Explore yoga, movement and art in a community of gay men

-- Discover the ins and outs of basic yoga postures

-- Play with movement sequences to stretch your body and open your heart

-- Create visual art that grows out of your experience of your body

-- Experience an ecstatic trance dance that will leave you vibrating with joy

-- Explore breathing techniques to calm the mind, energize your body and ignite your spirit

-- Be inspired by a wide range of music and poetry

This workshop is for everyone. You need no prior yoga experience.

FREAK/out

PHANTO/gram

BLIND/drawing 4

Self Portrait with winter wool hat