"Dance until you shatter yourself." -Rumi

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

MOVING/in

It's official. I am now an Easton Mountain resident.

I loaded up my Uhaul truck yesterday morning and hit the road. I brought everything I own with me. It's amazing how stuff accumulates. In October I moved from Tampa to Boston, and everything I owned fit in the back seat of my truck. I just moved to Easton Mtn-- into a much smaller room-- and I had to rent a Uhaul.

I painted the walls a lovely grey color called dolphin fin and I hung new wooden blinds. My room looks out over the land of Easton and onto the mountain. It's quite a spectacular view. I'm happy to be here. It feels like home.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

G/nome

DAY/one


It's April 23rd. I woke up this morning to a surprise snow storm. I was delighted, and I celebrated the magical quality that a spring snow storm offers. I walked out of my room and down to the lodge to teach a yoga class. The resident yoga instructor is out of town and I volunteered to teach. Part of my intention for being here is to love and to serve.



Friday, April 22, 2011

ARRIVE/easton

I arrived at Easton Mountain today. Immediately upon arriving a dear friend asked me to go for a walk. We strolled along a trail that meandered around the lake. Easton Mountain is far away from everything. The quiet of the woods was at first a bit overwhelming. After I settled into the initial quiet I noticed how it wasn't quiet at all. The frogs were making their loud sounds, the wind in the trees, unidentified bird sounds, scampering. Karl pointed out some birds and identified their call. And then I heard it-- the sound of my own breathing! This is exactly what my soul needs right now. Quiet. Time to unplug, to unravel and to integrate. I am happy to be here. I am home.



Tuesday, April 19, 2011

SUMMER/blog

Spring in the Boston Common


It's Tuesday, I think. I'm sitting at a cafe in Boston drinking green tea, listening to music and watching the rain. Spring has finally arrived. The trees have started to blossom and pop with green. Ahhhh, it gives me hope that warmer weather is on the way. I love these kinds of cozy rainy days. I'm an extrovert, an enneagram 7, a nomad, a pisces, and I'm pitta driven. I'm naturally drawn out into the world. The low clouds and drizzle are a welcome invitation for me to tune in to what's happening inside, to be more reflective.


Even amidst the bustling noise of people talking, the sounds of coffee brewing and the general noise of the city all I have to do is close my eyes and everything is available-- joy, sadness, excitement, trepidation, fear, curiosity, confusion. I sit with it all. At first it's a little overwhelming, but I simply take a deep breathe and discover what's underneath of all of that. Dana Faulds says, "go in and in and turn away from nothing that you find." So. I go in. And I go in. There's the wound of an old love. There's the excitement of a new adventure. There's the death of Knavin and ultimately the fear of my own death. There's fear and confidence both resting in the nest of my heart.


I'm still learning about vulnerability. I wrestle with insecurity. Am I good enough? Isn't that something we all wrestle with in some way? In Brene Brown's Ted talk on vulnerability she says, "what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful." I try to remember that as I move through the world, but it's not always easy. Fortunately, I'm not looking for easy. I'm looking for what's true, and though that can be difficult the truth is what makes me feel safe, connected and sometimes vulnerable. She goes on to say that when you numb the hard feelings you simulanteously cut yourself off from joy and happiness.


So. Saying that...


I'm leaving Boston this Friday and moving to Easton Mountain for the summer to volunteer, to be out in nature, to be in community with other gay men, to deepen my own personal spiritual practice and to do some necessary inner work. Easton Mountain is truly a sanctuary. It's nestled into the mountains. There are huge gardens, an art pavilion, lake, swimming pool, sauna, trails and three healthy yummy cooked meals everyday.


I've re-engaged my blog, which I plan to update often with pictures, writings and other inspirations. Please check in often to see what kind of trouble I'm getting myself into this summer. And if you have time please drop me a note to say hello and tell me of your own adventures and meanderings.


RABBIT/truth

What Is Real?
Margery Williams, From The Velveteen Rabbit

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when he and the Skin Horse were lying side by side near the nursery fender….

“REAL isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful

Sacred Tremor

Sacred Tremor
discover what moves you