"Dance until you shatter yourself." -Rumi

Monday, April 2, 2012

TWO/choices

Graffiti on a Williamsburg wall

In the past few months I have been met with a situation that has challenged me greatly.  I have hemmed and hawed over it.  I've talked to friends, meditated on it, pushed it away, embraced it, journaled about it, created art about it, etc.. It seemed that no matter what I did I still suffered.  Recently, I had a conversation with my spiritual teacher and therapist.  She told me that there are two choices that I can make:  I can choose to be a victim of life, or I can choose to be a student of life.  It reminded me of a quote I once read on the inside of a Hallmark card:  The only difference between a rut and a groove is your state of mind.  She then gave me the assignment to journal about everything I've learned about this challenge.   Here's an exerpt from my journal answering the question, what have I learned from this recent experience? 

I've learned that:


- I have no control over what other people do.
- I have the ability to be present with myself with honesty and curiosity.
- if I compare myself with others I shrink.
- lying creates disharmony and disengages the ability to have true intimacy.
- when I connect to my body and my breath I feel more grounded.
- when I meditate regularly I create more ease and contentment in my mind.

Perhaps the most important thing I've learned is that like most life lessons it is something that I've learned before: that only when I take care of myself can I help others.  It's a basic principle we learn when we fly: put on your oxygen mask first before assisting others.

Today, I'm going to be a student of life.
On the wall above my desk I tacked these words of intention to help me remember to be open to learning, to be curious, to listen, and to continually choose to be a student.

When life delivers you a challenge remember that you have a choice to be a victim or a student.  Being a victim makes you helpless.  Being a student makes you wise.

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